The Pocky Incident
by Coolbou
Summary: What happens when a pocky-crazed Duo is let loose? Read to find out!
1. Chapter 1

            A pair of large violet eyes blinked open, shining unusually in the darkness. Their owner trembled slightly with the effort of containing his laughter. It was amazing what a dozen boxes of pocky could do to a guy.

            He clamped a hand over his mouth. If his victim discovered his presence too soon, it would be all over even before it had begun. And that would be bad.

            Duo's prey stirred slightly, throwing his blanket to the side. Duo snickered into his hand. This was going to be so good!

            "…Okay," he whispered, so quietly he could barely hear himself. "One… two…"

            The soon-to-be-victim rolled over in his sleep, mumbling something unintelligible. In the dim light from the moon, Duo could tell his mouth was hanging open and he was drooling. Good thing the camera had a flash…!!

            "…Three!" Duo jumped out of his hiding spot and took a picture.

            "Wh -- !?" Trowa sat right up, looking around wildly. Duo cracked up.

            "Hahaha! That was so perfect!" he cried, clutching his sides and trying to remain on his feet.

            "What was that!?" Trowa yelled.

            "It was a camera, stupid. What else?"

            "I mean – ugh!" He got up and stomped over to Duo, trying to snatch the camera away. 

            "No!" Duo shoved it behind his back.

            "Give it to me, you braided moron!"

            "Uh-uh!"

            "Come back here – "

            "Nooo!!"

            "Duo, y – oww!!" Trowa cried, clapping a face to his forehead. In the darkness he had failed to realize that he was running straight into a bureau.

            "Hahaha!" Duo screamed with laughter and took another picture. "This is great! You've got a lump on your head the size of Iowa!" He pressed a few buttons on the camera. "Hahaha! Look at this one, Clownie!"

            "Don't call me Clo – urrgh…" Trowa sighed as Duo held up the camera. On the digital camera's screen was an image of him sprawled on the bed, a string of drool stretching from his mouth to the pillow.

            "And this one!" Duo hit another button, and the next picture popped up.

            Trowa finally managed to get the camera from Duo, and he promptly smashed it. After making sure that it was no more than a pile of plastic and wires, he glanced at Duo to see the look of disappointment.

            But that incessant grin was still there. "It was a digital camera, Clownie," he said. "The images have already been sent to a computer. And I still have another camera!" He stuck his tongue out. "Nyah nyah!"

            "Why exactly are you taking pictures of me anyway?" Trowa asked. "Starting an album or something?"

            "Nope. I'm gonna show 'em to everybody." He grinned. "I've got the website all ready to go. All I need to do is post the images, and…"

            "You will not!"

            "Okay."

            "Just like that?"

            "Yup. But you've gotta do me a favor."

            Trowa was silent. "Oh, no… you've been eating chocolate."

            "Pockyyyyyy."

            "That means you're gonna make me do something idiotic."

            "Mwahaha."

            "And even when the chocolate high wears off, you're still going to hold me to it…"

            "Hehehe… yup."

            Trowa sighed. "Tell me what it is…"     

            Duo giggled and explained.

            "One down… three to go." Duo snacked on a seventeenth box of pocky as he walked down the hall from Trowa's room to his. He'd bought several crates of pocky a few days before, and had them "hidden" beneath a sheet in his room. And his spare digital cameras – he'd forgotten where he got them – were under his bed, tucked inside a pair of boots.

            "Hmm…" Tucking a few more boxes of pocky into his gun holsters and pockets, he got down onto his stomach and crawled under his bed.

            Heero walked by then. Duo's door was open, and he peered in. "Duo… what are you doing?"

            "I'm looking for something," came the muffled reply.

            "What could possibly require that you stick your ass in the air?"

            "Something under the bed, _duh_." Finally finding a boot among the dust, Duo stuck his hand inside it, but came up with nothing but a dirty sock. He tossed it aside and kept looking for the other boot.

            Heero raised an eyebrow at the sock that landed on his trademark sneakers. Kicking it slightly aside, he went on his way without a word.

            "Aha!" Duo cried, wriggling backwards, a bright red digital camera in his hands. He checked the batteries in it, then stuffed it in another of his pockets. After closing and locking his door, he opened his window and slipped outside, clinging to the wall of the building.

            Shimmying along to the next window, he lifted himself inside. But his hand slipped and he fell to the floor with a loud crash.

            He froze as his second victim tossed, waking slightly as a result of the noise. But he settled after a moment, and Duo crept forward. Reaching into one pocket, he drew out two sticks of pocky. With the other hand he turned on the camera. He would have to be fast with this one.

            On the other side of the building, the rest of the G-boys were awakened by a scream of one word: "INJUSTICE!!!"

            And on the screen of Duo's computer, a picture appeared of Wufei sleeping, two sticks of pocky sticking out of his mouth like walrus teeth.


	2. Chapter 2

_(A/N: Hi guys! Thanks for all the great reviews! Hopefully this chapter's as good as the last, though I tried to make it better – but wait until the next one! I promise, it'll be great! But until I get it up, enjoy this one! 'Kay?)_

            Missions two out of four having been successful, although painful, Duo sat in his room editing the pictures, nursing his black eye, and waiting for Wufei to calm down. By the time the Chinese pilot gave up on kicking down the door, Duo had long been done with the images (which, quite obviously, were too funny to handle) and was opening his thirty-second box of pocky. (That's thirty-two out of… somewhere around four hundred.)

            Silently cursing himself, Duo shoved several pieces of pocky into his mouth. Should've gotten Wufei last… that way, nobody would've been woken up until Duo had everything he needed. Unless, of course, Heero kept a gun under his pillow… which would probably wake them all up anyways. Now he'd have to wait at least an hour for his final two victims to go back to sleep. And waiting was no fun…

            Immediately bored (it was approximately four minutes into the hour he'd decided to wait), Duo began looking around his room for something to keep himself busy with. When he opened the door to his closet, he noticed a dusty pillowcase on the shelf. Pulling it down, Duo was overjoyed to find what was left of his year-old Halloween candy. Not everything was eatable anymore… but the one thing that caught his eye was perfectly fine. (At least, it was to a pocky-high God of Death.)

            A mint-condition, unopened package of pixi stix.

            His hands trembling with joy, Duo paused a moment before shredding the package and tearing the tops off several pixi stix and emptying them into his mouth.

            He immediately began to cough, having inhaled the brightly colored powder. But no sooner had he recovered than every single pixi stick was emptied and discarded, their sugar-high-inducing goodness already beginning to take effect.

            He glanced at his computer. He went over and sat down, opening a picture-editing program. Loading every picture he had of the others, he started playing around.

            "Hm… If I take _his_ hair, and _his_ eyes…" He giggled. "…And _those_ shoes… with _this_ shirt…" He giggled again at the result, deleted it, and began again.

-=-

            The digital clock beside the computer beeped, signaling to Duo that the hour was up. By now the room was littered with empty pocky boxes. Duo turned the alarm off, retrieved another camera, and got ready to set off.

            Suddenly he stopped, his hand just inches from his doorknob. How was he supposed to get a degrading picture of this one? Trowa was easy enough, since he thrashed around so much – _and_ drooled. Wufei was easy to get angry, and Heero would probably be the same. But Quatre…

            As Duo sat in his swiveling chair, spinning around and toying with a lighter he'd found, an idea came to him. To test it out, he snatched up a stick of pocky and held the lighter beneath it. The chocolate melted slowly, eventually dripping onto the floor. As he stared at the spot of chocolate on the floor, Duo's smile grew. Suddenly he knew exactly what to do to Quatre.

            Sneaking into Quatre's room was easier than Duo had expected. He apparently felt safe enough to leave his bedroom door unlocked, despite the screaming that had gone on only an hour earlier.

            In slow motion (the author's trying to add some drama here), Duo pulled out a stick of pocky with one hand and his lighter with the other. He softened the chocolate slightly (not enough for it to drip) and then, leaning over carefully, began to draw.

            When Quatre didn't wake up after the first few lines, Duo added a few squiggles, and then some pictures and finally a single letter: L.

            Giggling to himself, Duo pulled out the camera and took several pictures. But he paused and frowned after the third. Quatre still hadn't woken up. He still had a pulse and was breathing, but he didn't seem aware that his face was a chocolaty mess. Kind of disappointed that, for once, he hadn't been caught in the act, Duo put away the camera and scribbled a note that he left beside the bed before he trudged back to his room.

            He sat down in front of his computer, eating pocky (box #47) and sulking. Heero would _definitely_ not be as easy to get a picture of as Quatre had been.

            With a heavy sigh, Duo got up and decided he'd repeat what he'd done to the others if he had to.

            Heero's door was locked. Duo sighed, pulled a hairpin out of his braid, and began picking the lock. There was a faint _click_, and he opened the door slowly and stuck his head in.

            The moon shone directly in the window, so the room was quite bright compared to the others. Heero lay on his side, one arm clamping his pillow over his face. Duo was slightly surprised he could breathe, but he decided not to bother worrying about it and focused on his task.

            Creeping over, Duo reached out for the pillow. He had the camera in his other hand, fully prepared to snap a picture and run for his life.

            The pillowcase was grasped between his fingers and he was still alive. It was slipping out from under Heero's arm, and he was still alive...

            Taking a deep breath, Duo pulled on the pillow and it came free, falling to the floor. Heero stirred and opened his eyes.

            "Who...?" he mumbled sleepily, looking at Duo with his eyes half closed and unfocused. "Whozawha..." He reached out clumsily, trying to get a hold of Duo's face. The braided pilot backed away, more than a little wierded out.

            "Heero...? Are you... asleep?"

            Heero continued to mumble, stumbling out of bed and shuffling toward Duo, who slowly raised his camera.

            The camera's flash brightened the room, showing a rather drunken-looking Heero, his hair messier than ever, stumbling toward Duo with his arms outstretched, an insane grin on his very sleepy face.

            Heero blinked, and his eyes were suddenly fully open. He looked at Duo and at the camera in his hand. Realizing that his dream had been more real than he'd thought, he snarled and lunged forward.

            "_DUO_!!!"

            "...Painful," Duo whimpered, "very painful..."

            He was beginning to wonder if his plan was really worth getting beat up. And he'd never really wanted to know why it was called an "uppercut" – well, now he knew, the cut on his forehead proof of his newfound knowledge.

            "Heero has _really_ hard knuckles," Duo muttered, examining his many cuts and bruises in the mirror. Glancing at his computer, he grinned. Those pictures he'd taken _were_ pretty funny. And the picture he'd gotten of Heero reminded him of that video game "Fatal Frame". If Heero's head had been backwards and upside-down, he would've looked exactly like one of the ghosts from that game. At that thought, Duo sat back down and started playing around with the images.

            Within five minutes, all of the pictures had been made to look like screenshots from "Fatal Frame", people's heads put on upside down and backwards, arms and legs stretched and spider-like, colors changed... "This is fun!" Duo said, giggling.

            The he remembered. He had to make the preparations for what would happen next if the others did what he'd told them to do – and of course they would. They were all too proud to allow those pictures to be shown to the rest of the world.

            This was _too_ perfect...!!


End file.
